Chapter 3 - Seeing God in Our Friendships

Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near [He is coming soon]. Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]. Practice what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace (of untroubled, undisturbed well-being) will be with you.

Philippians 4:5-9

As I practice what Joy does, my peace strengthens.

Mentoring is neither training nor parenting. After giving birth four times, it is my personal experience and belief is that God puts an instinctive love in most mothers the minute that baby is born. This may not hold true given severe dysfunction or trauma. My mom would do anything for me and instilled in me a deep sense of love and belonging. She was loving and nurturing, wise, and caring. Mom trained me up in the way I should go, and as I grew older, I came back to the path for which she prepared me.

She instructed me in such a way to bring a desired condition or behavior. She was a wonderful stay-at-home mother who taught me well.

She taught me some of the most delicious Italian dishes passed down from her mother. So authentic you'd never find them in a restaurant here in the United States. My children love it when they enter our home and smell garlic simmering in olive oil because they know something good is cooking.

Mom passed on all in her life to me as God gave it to her, and I do the same with my children. Mom's greatest gift to me was passing on a spiritual sense of well being that everything happens the way God meant it to, so don't worry. Parenting is subjective and offers the best setting to raise children; mentoring is objective and offers the best setting to mature adults.

Mentoring in its nature is objective and offers the best setting to mature adults. The crossover appeal is whatever lessons I didn't or refused to learn when young; mentoring offers me another chance to learn my lesson. As adults, there are areas in our lives where we still act as children in adult bodies and simply need a safe setting to mature and heal.

Jennifer Cecil is a spirit-filled counselor who loves Jesus and integrates her spirituality and faith in her counseling practice. Her niece Hilary Griffith is 19 years old and on a full academic scholarship to Arizona State University.

When Hilary was raped, her pain became her mother's pain and it was an unbearable load for Hilary to carry. "My family's always been very close. Every summer we take trips together, and we do little family get- togethers all year. My aunt Jen and I have always had a pretty good relationship. But after the rape happened, my entire family was devastated.

"It was really difficult to talk to my mom about it-both my parents actually-just because it was really hard for me to see how much it hurt them to find out how I was doing. If I was doing badly, then they would be upset, and I didn't want that. So I'd tell them I was doing fine even if I wasn't just to save them the pain.

"Jen was there for me from the beginning. That night she was there in the hospital with my family, and she was calling to check on me and offered to take me out to coffee and just talk and be there for me. So we started meeting, and she'd ask how I was and just be there."

Both Hilary and her aunt Jennifer understand God put them together to fulfill His purposes in their lives. They experienced a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment and understanding that has matured them both and brought great healing and deliverance for Hilary.

Mentoring is counseling for the calling. In our loyal friendship, God used Joy to prepare me for the road He intended. I needed her wisdom and experience to be spiritually equipped to effectively serve in the capacity God had designed for me.

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