Chapter 3 - Seeing God in Our Friendships

Holding on to good relationships is harder than ever given a 63% divorce rate in the Christian church and so many broken, long distance, and mobile relationships. The good news is that we can maintain strong, healthy connections with those we hold close to our hearts by simple nurturing. A little bit goes a long way.

When Joy's granddaughter Danni stopped by to change and refresh before her job, Joy put out her favorite fragrant bath gel next to a clean fluffy towel. It was a sweltering hot day in the Midwest, so Joy left a glass of cold water next to the bed waiting for her. And whoever gives to one of these little ones [in rank or influence] even a cup of cold water because he is My disciple, surely I declare to you, he shall not lose his reward (Ma 10:42).

Thoughtfulness works for my family, too. Making happy faces with the cantaloupe on my children's plates for lunch would prompt little smiles on their faces and in their hearts. Leaving a loving message on their voicemails keeps us connected now that they're older. Little things mean so much-even giving a smile when I don't feel like it.

We all want to be loved and feel like we belong. The need to have these essentials met in good and functional ways will have positive and long lasting results. It is literally the difference between life and death. Because you have been faithful and trustworthy in a very little [thing], you shall have authority over ten cities (Lk 19:17). How we act toward people is a pretty good indication of how we feel about God.

A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure (Pr 16:9). Joy wanted to be a psychiatrist. She reached the same end by a different means. Sometimes we want to be or do something because it is the closest thing we can imagine as being or describing our heart's desire. If we are in God's will, He will take us to our heart's desire and fulfill our calling so we make the mark. If it is not quite what God has in mind for us, He will bring us to our rightful place if we keep our rightful place in Him.

When asked recently if she feels a little "out of it" for not keeping up with computers and the exponential explosion of knowledge Joy replied, "I agree things are changing faster than in any other time of history and moving at a rate that is almost frightening. But changes in technology don't mean changes in human nature.

"With all the advantages, also come more sorrows, problems, heartaches, loneliness, and disconnected families, fostering less and less bonding of human relationships, bringing confusion, crime, and despair. This is where we Christians come in. We have the answer through Jesus Christ-no, I do not feel out of it-I am excited about coming to the kingdom at such a time as this."

As Joy reflected on her years of counseling and the fruit of her ministry, she recalled, "How wonderful it is to sit together with another in counseling and feel the flow of the Holy Spirit opening, enlightening, recovering, and setting the captive free.

"To see the light shine throughout the saddened face and the whole countenance rejuvenated, and in the days, months, or years that follow the true destiny of that life being fulfilled." This is what Joy lives for.

You may have a general idea of where you're headed, but none of us knows exactly where we'll be a week from now, let alone one month, or even one year. If you could understand, the value of the process would be destroyed. What is important are the lessons you learn and the decisions you make today. Today, if you would hear His voice and when you hear it, do not harden your hearts (He 4:7). Jesus only gives us one day at a time; so do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble (Ma 6:34).

Joy makes learning fun. With her, I always feel great. I never walk away feeling worse. She makes it easy for me to learn.

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