Chapter 3 - Seeing God in Our Friendships

Within the context of our companionship and throughout her life, Joy demonstrated that success is the everyday gradual accomplishment of a worthwhile goal. Good news takes awhile to get around. Bad news travels fast. We don't hear about the good people the way we hear about the famous, notorious, or outstanding people. When we compare their outsides to our insides, we get into trouble. Then we either get disgusted, give up, and feel like a failure-unless we can be famous, we are made to feel that we have not achieved and will never be anything worthwhile. This addresses the psychological need to feel important, but simply scratches the surface.

Hilary took her trauma and turned it into a triumph. She let go of her feelings of worthlessness and gave the glory to God for her healing and deep sense of worthiness and well-being.

"It's crazy. you know, this horrible thing happened, and He provided me with what I needed to get through. I'm doing so much better. You know, there are good days and there are bad days and there are still hard things. But the difference is amazing from right after the rape. After it happened, I originally thought, 'OK, I need to change my platform, but I can't do it yet. I need to wait a little bit further in the recovery process.' After a couple of months of working with Jen and really thinking about it, I felt this passion that I needed to be out there making a difference right now to help other rape survivors. I was praying about it a lot and trying to decide if I should change my platform.

"At church one week, they were doing a message about Queen Esther, and the pastor read, Who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion? (Es 4:14). And I felt God telling me that now was the time to change the platform. Queen Esther was a wife to the king, which gave her the opportunity to save all those people. She had the choice to either accept that opportunity or ignore the call.

"It was like God was speaking directly to me saying, 'Look, this happened to you and you were blessed with the Miss Scottsdale title four days after. You have this incredible story that you can reach people with, so you should be out there doing it.' So I said, 'OK, God, You win, I'm going to do this.'" Hilary understands she isn't great because of what she's done. She is great because of her choices and the decisions she's made in the midst of incredible odds.

We need to go deeper to define our purpose. There is a difference between 'great' and 'famous.' Sometimes someone can be both. Famous is external recognition for doing something outstanding. Many famous people are not great and often feel miserable inside. Famous may or may not be great. However, there are also great people who never become famous-happy, well-adjusted people who know they are living the life God designed for them. They are the great people. They don't strive for fame.

The important thing is to embrace your moments of destiny and experience their unfolding that leads to clarity, desire, and commitment to your personal fulfillment. Not a cheap imitation of someone else. You have all the God-given qualities within you for true greatness. Each of us has a feeling of greatness that can lead to true greatness. Joy used to think this was just in certain people, but her years of counseling taught her that every person has this buried inside. It only needs to be uncovered, awakened.

Do you want to go through all your life merely existing? You would not be reading this if you did. There is something crying out within you. This feeling is God's blessing to you that you may become all who He meant you to be. It is the 'X' on the treasure map. Perhaps it may be weak at first, or hidden by circumstances and thoughts of discouragement.

Tommy Barnett, Joy's son, has pastored one of the largest churches in the nation for 23 years, and he recently celebrated his fiftieth year in ministry. Reflecting on the success of his ministry he said, "God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called."

How does He do this? Jesus did not transform the men who were to become the spiritual fathers of the New Testament in one dramatic episode. Jesus mentored His disciples through friendship. When the student is ready, the teacher appears and we learn in recovery. When I am ready and willing, God's Word becomes rhema. Haven't you ever noticed you can read the same scripture a dozen times and one day it becomes rhema? It just jumps out at you and becomes alive in your soul. Rhema means "to become alive." It is the Spirit Who gives life [He is the Life-giver]; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever [there is no profit in it]. The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life (Jo 6:63). The Holy Spirit reveals God's Word to us in our mind and through our senses. He enables others to comfort, counsel, help, and strengthen us. I know when God has used someone to help me in answer to prayer. But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you (Jo 14:26).

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